I'm now at a stage where I can feel the abstinence on my body. The absence from art has had an effect on my psyche for some while, but now I can really feel my fingers shaking, for the urge of creating something, something vivid and alive, yet dead and purposless. I miss the feeling of strugling for hours, tangling little detailes, over and over again, just to see a finished satisfying product on my screen or bedroom wall. It all boils down to the day when my computer died, a sad but memorable day. All the files have moved along with my dear friend up to heaven, and are for me lost, until the day where I too can arise up to the sky. So now I have to settle with a stationary orphan, which I adopted. It's not very atlethic, and far from able to run photoshop, or any other advanced programs for that matter. It's old and fragile, snoring even while awake. But that is what I've got to settle with for now, until some green paper bits come flying my way. However, I will pervail, I will manage through these horible times, a I doodle my way through every little meaningless item I can find. Because some day, the sun will shine inside my head, and grant me a new friend, maybe a mac.